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The Birthday Party

Recently my wife and I traveled to northern Virginia to help her Aunt Margie celebrate her 90^th birthday. The luncheon party, arranged by the birthday celebrant herself, included 11 guests, all of whom (with the exception of my wife and me) were in their late 70s or 80s. As we sat around the table, I mentally added up the number of years represented by all the guests. There had to be at least 750 years of combined life among this group. That’s a lot of living and a lot of experience. And everyone was still very much “with it,” both mentally and physically.

It got me wondering about what it takes to make it into your 70s, 80s and even 90s with your health and mind still very much intact. So I decided to ask the assembled guests what they attribute their longevity to.

The first to answer were a retired Baptist minister and his wife, now in their late 70s. The preacher spoke first, stating in a firm, melodious voice that immediately revealed his deep Virginia roots that the credit belongs to God. That’s as good a reason as any, but I pressed him a little further. He thought for a minute and started to talk about all the things he does with his grandchildren. Going to their soccer games to cheer them on. Taking them on nature hikes. Volunteering at a food pantry each week.

His wife chimed in, talking about the visits they make together to the homebound in their congregation, the weekly lunch she has with some of her friends and the knitting group she belongs to. Staying busy was their recipe for aging well.

The next to speak was an 80-something woman, a refugee from Germany at the start of the Second World War. She has been cleaning Aunt Margie’s home twice a week, every week, since the house was built in 1960. With an accent that could make one think she was Henry Kissinger’s younger sister, she explained that she thought her work was what kept her young.

As we went around the table, the common denominator was that everyone remained active and engaged in life. Each person admitted they weren’t moving as fast as they once were, but the key was that they kept moving. I was reminded of something I read once about some sharks—that even when they’re sleeping, they are still gliding through the water; otherwise they sink to the bottom of the ocean and die.

This applies to people as well. Britain’s National Health Service has found that “there’s strong evidence that people who are active have a lower risk of heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, some cancers, depression and dementia.” These people were living proof of that. 

Finally, it was Aunt Margie’s turn to share the secret to her 90 years. She said, in her quiet, genteel voice, that the one thing that kept her going was having a purpose in life. She told us that every morning when she wakes up, her first thought is to focus on what she would accomplish that day, not just for herself but for others as well. Gathered around the table was the evidence that she finds her purpose in life in her lively friends. And they all were there not just to celebrate the passage of 90 years but also to kick off the start of Aunt Margie’s 10th decade.